I am all about knowing your worth as a person, and embracing your God-given features and gifts. In reality though, I know the struggles in reminding yourself that your worth is far above precious jewels, when we are constantly surrounded by apparent ‘perfection’, or what society sees as #goals!
Here are my tips to embracing yourself.
Stop picking out the flaws with other people
We women are our own worst critiques. I can’t tell you how many times I have witnessed a woman who is dressed nicely being verbally torn apart by other women who notice the tiny things that are out of place. Instead of celebrating the fact that she looks really nice, we highlight her flaws and pick at her. Unfortunately I used to do this. Why are women so harsh on other women? This year I have made two pledges. One is to keep quiet, if I have nothing good to say. My opinion is just that…MY opinion. It is not fact and it does not have to be heard if it does not benefit anyone. My other pledge is to focus on the positive things about people, no matter how small. If I focus my attention on the positives then the negatives start to dull in comparison. I hope I am making sense here. If I do need to let someone like a close friend know that they are not looking ‘on fleek’, I do so in a loving way and after that, I leave it. They do not have to agree with my opinion.
What I have found is that if you are highly critical of someone else, it is very likely that you are highly critical of yourself. It speaks volumes about your own self-esteem. Remember that the person is a human being as well, and think of how you would feel if you were the person being criticised or scrutinised.
Once you start finding the positives in other people, you will start to see the positives in yourself. Just let people be!
Realise that you are wonderfully and beautifully made
You need to understand one truth, and that is you are beautifully and wonderfully made. Full stop. Your features, your body, your personality make you who you are today. Stop focussing on what society defines as beautiful, because trust me, that ideal changes all the time. When I was growing up, super slim models were celebrated, everything was super slim, slim thighs, slim waists even slim lips! Now it is all about the thickness of a woman, even to her features! The beauty ideals change depending on culture, society, and celebrities. But remember if you love yourself for who you are, you will have that confidence that withstands the nonsense that the media sprouts out. You will be able to pass this on to the next generation of young ladies.
Surround yourself with positivity
If all your friends or people around you think negatively about the world and themselves, it is very likely that you would feel the same. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and encourage you. People who can tell you the truth with love, not just being critical without reason.
Realise that everywhere we turn, women are always taking the brunt of things.
Plus size women do not have any self control with the food that they eat. Slim women do not eat and are starving themselves. Working mothers do not care or love their children. Stay at home mothers are lazy and have nothing better to do. Career women are incapable of managing and leading others. Women who stand up for women’s rights are irrational and bored feminists.
This is a few of the many stereotypes regarding women. We are subjected to stereotypes on a daily basis about how women should act, should be, look like etc. We need to take a stand against these stereotypes. I don’t give a monkeys about what society or culture says I should be or look like. Let me be me to the best of my ability. Let me walk in path that has been destined for me, focusing on my successes and failures and becoming a better woman. Let me celebrate other women and their achievements.
It is physically and emotionally freeing when you start to realise that you can walk in your destined path without the distractions from society.
Celebrate all types of beauty
Beauty is not an exact formula, there are different varieties of beauty, and it needs to be celebrated. Recognise that all women are beautiful in their own way. Just because a woman does not look like you or what you think is beautiful, doesn’t mean that she isn’t beautiful. Beauty is not only the outside appearance. You need to realise that true beauty is not only about what you look like on the outside, but also what you are like on the inside.
Seek to be that positive, encouraging, joyful, confident, non-judgemental woman who brings a light to whatever situation is around her. That woman who glows from the inside and reflects that glow to the people around her. I think if we all focus on being the best version of ourselves, it will make the world a better place. Now let’s all hold hands and sing ‘Heal the world’ by Michael Jackson! I really like this holding hands and singing thing….I blame primary school!
MOST IMPORTANTLY…..KNOW YOUR WORTH